Freakin' POTATOES omg.
I had a ton of potatoes. Too many to go through quickly, to be
honest. I am not as much of a Meat and Potatoes person as my pops is,
so they started sprouting. Now don't get me wrong, I love potatoes, but
I couldn't think what to do with them with what I had on hand.
My first thought was to make potato chips. I had a pint of oil in my cabinet, and salsa in my fridge. So I put the oil on, cranked the heat, and for some reason thought it would be a good idea to put a lid on it to help it heat faster. Understand: I don't fry things often. I hate how the house ends up smelling after food is fried. So I have almost no experience frying outside of using the fryers at Arby's and McDonald's, and in both cases it was almost completely automated. Which brings us to our second problem: I didn't have a wire spoon to get the chips out, and I wasn't using a basket fryer, so I decided to nix the idea. So I go to lift the lid off the oil and WHOOOOOSHHH. Smoke in my face. So much smoke that I started to panic and threw open all the windows and turned the fan in my living room on high.
I decided to try and bake the chips I'd sliced instead. But I didn't use a mandolin cutter, so they weren't uniform cuts. Some of them burned, others didn't crisp properly. They came out more like french fries. I was so disappointed. But I ate them. The other potatoes I peeled were stuck in water so they wouldn't oxidize.
I could always mash them, but I don't have a proper masher. And if I mashed them, I could do sheppard's pie, but I would have to go and buy peas and beef for that. I could also do colcannon, but same issue: I'd have to go get cabbage. I did, however, have a ton of tomato sauce. So! I decided to make gnocchi. I have never made gnocchi before. But I've seen it done on the Food Network a ton, and on a couple of my food vlogs on youtube that I like to watch. So I went for it. How hard could it be?
Yeah. If you ask yourself that before you start something, guess what: It's pretty damn hard.
Really, my biggest issue was not finding a recipe and following it to the T. I always tell people, unless you're familiar with what you're making, use a recipe and follow it like your life depends on it. So I mashed the potatoes, and I started adding flour, and the dough never started to set. It was very sticky. So I kept adding flour. Then I got online and checked a few recipes. They said to add egg, so I added egg. I probably could have put in more egg though, but that's besides the point. still sticky. More flour. Probably more flour than was necessary, but I was more concerned that it wouldn't come out right if I didn't. They finally started not to stick so much. I started doing the tine roll, then got frustrated when they started not looking right and checked online. Turns out I was doing it backwards. -_-
Eventually, they started going into the water. The first batch came out, I gave it a taste, and it tasted like a noodle! I did it! It was bland, but I did it! I finished 'em off, then threw them in a can of tomato soup since tomato sauce would probably be too heavy.
And I still haven't used all my dough. What's left is in the fridge. And I didn't even finish eating what I did make, because they were so filling. So I'll make some more later, maybe boil them in chicken stock and saute them in garlic butter before I toss them with some sauce. I would post the recipe, but honestly, don't follow my method. Find a proper recipe and follow it. You'll do fine, just be sure you're sitting at a table so you don't throw your back out like I almost did.
God, I hate having huge tits.
My first thought was to make potato chips. I had a pint of oil in my cabinet, and salsa in my fridge. So I put the oil on, cranked the heat, and for some reason thought it would be a good idea to put a lid on it to help it heat faster. Understand: I don't fry things often. I hate how the house ends up smelling after food is fried. So I have almost no experience frying outside of using the fryers at Arby's and McDonald's, and in both cases it was almost completely automated. Which brings us to our second problem: I didn't have a wire spoon to get the chips out, and I wasn't using a basket fryer, so I decided to nix the idea. So I go to lift the lid off the oil and WHOOOOOSHHH. Smoke in my face. So much smoke that I started to panic and threw open all the windows and turned the fan in my living room on high.
I decided to try and bake the chips I'd sliced instead. But I didn't use a mandolin cutter, so they weren't uniform cuts. Some of them burned, others didn't crisp properly. They came out more like french fries. I was so disappointed. But I ate them. The other potatoes I peeled were stuck in water so they wouldn't oxidize.
I could always mash them, but I don't have a proper masher. And if I mashed them, I could do sheppard's pie, but I would have to go and buy peas and beef for that. I could also do colcannon, but same issue: I'd have to go get cabbage. I did, however, have a ton of tomato sauce. So! I decided to make gnocchi. I have never made gnocchi before. But I've seen it done on the Food Network a ton, and on a couple of my food vlogs on youtube that I like to watch. So I went for it. How hard could it be?
Yeah. If you ask yourself that before you start something, guess what: It's pretty damn hard.
Really, my biggest issue was not finding a recipe and following it to the T. I always tell people, unless you're familiar with what you're making, use a recipe and follow it like your life depends on it. So I mashed the potatoes, and I started adding flour, and the dough never started to set. It was very sticky. So I kept adding flour. Then I got online and checked a few recipes. They said to add egg, so I added egg. I probably could have put in more egg though, but that's besides the point. still sticky. More flour. Probably more flour than was necessary, but I was more concerned that it wouldn't come out right if I didn't. They finally started not to stick so much. I started doing the tine roll, then got frustrated when they started not looking right and checked online. Turns out I was doing it backwards. -_-
Eventually, they started going into the water. The first batch came out, I gave it a taste, and it tasted like a noodle! I did it! It was bland, but I did it! I finished 'em off, then threw them in a can of tomato soup since tomato sauce would probably be too heavy.
And I still haven't used all my dough. What's left is in the fridge. And I didn't even finish eating what I did make, because they were so filling. So I'll make some more later, maybe boil them in chicken stock and saute them in garlic butter before I toss them with some sauce. I would post the recipe, but honestly, don't follow my method. Find a proper recipe and follow it. You'll do fine, just be sure you're sitting at a table so you don't throw your back out like I almost did.
God, I hate having huge tits.
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